Thursday, March 26, 2009

What to do while riding the slow boat to China?

Usually my blog is a place where I strive to entertain or at least document my motherhood experiences in hopes that other mamas might be able to relate or commiserate.

Today, though, I'm feeling low and looking for an outlet.

I didn't think the adoption process from China could get any slower. (Though, realistically, it hasn't gotten slower...I'm just "feeling" the wait now.)

We logged in on August 13, 2008, a mere seven months ago. From the beginning I've been telling myself that we'd have an eight year wait. Occasionally, I'll let myself daydream about a shorter wait but I'm trying to be realistic.

I used to read and post several times a day on the adoption forums. Now I stay off of them. And I try not to get too caught up in the monthly number of days referred anymore. With such a long wait, it does me no good to get optimistic or disappointed by a day or two.

To make matters more complicated, I have a bad case of baby fever. Well, not so much baby like an infant...more like 1 year old fever. I have several friends from my sons' co-op preschool that have daughters that age and I am lucky enough to get to see them every weekday. Their curiosity and unbridled excitement and exploration of the world around them...oh, I want another baby. (And Scott, for better or worse, has a constant case of baby fever.)


So Scott and I sit here on this slow, slow boat to China. And now I'm wondering what, if anything, we should do. I had thought we might adopt a daughter from another country while still "in line" for our daughter born in China. A sort of boat detour, if you will. But with the current economic situation, I'm rethinking that plan.

Sorry for the babbling...I really didn't have a thought-out cohesive post. Just a bunch of rambling while sitting on this slow boat...

The girl in the photo is holding a red thread while standing upon The Great Wall. And the quote reads:
When a child is born, an invisible red thread extends from the child's spirit and connects her to all the significant people who will be a part of the child's life. As the child grows, the thread shortens, drawing closer those people who are destined to be together. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break.

21 comments:

  1. Hi Carey! I can imagine how hard it is to wait!!!! My friend adopted a little girl from China and was able to pick her up when she was 9 months. It seemed like forever for her too!!

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  2. That is a looooong wait, and I can't imagine it being easy...
    I have just started babysitting a just turned one year old girl during the week, and it is SO much fun:)

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  3. Ugh. Waiting is THE WORST. And I've been getting a touch of the baby fever recently. Hang in there! I'm sure it seems like forever.

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  4. I know the feeling to well. We waited 20 months for our daughter and it felt like forever. It was totally worth every minute.

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  5. Hang in there, Carey. I said a little prayer for you too.

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  6. To all of us who have been biologically pregnant and thought 280 was "long", the length of time for those who are "Paper Pregnant" seems impossibly longer.

    I saw a little girl on the Love Grows Here blog yesterday, and my heart just longed to embark on the slow boat too.

    http://newdayfosterhome.blogspot.com/

    I love the red string story... beautiful way of looking at it.

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  7. It WILL be a wonderful reward, though :) Patience is extremely hard, and for something so great as a little girl! I will pray for you! And I think as mothers, we will always have some longing to have another little one! I know I do! We are still hoping for maybe one more ;) {But I'm not getting any younger!}

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  8. I'm afraid I can't offer any advice - just good thoughts of patience. It's definitely not one of my virtues, by any stretch!!

    Welcome to SiTS - Em

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  9. I also wanted to say...just think, there is a little girl out there who is desperately waiting to meet you as her MOM, too! Have a wonderful weekend!

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  10. Hang in there...prayerfully. It's SO HARD to wait, but God does have the very best timing!! We've had our China daughter home since August of 2005. She is not four and a half and is AWESOME! Your daughter will be the perfect fit for your family in God's timing. Visit us at www.marissaathome.blogspot.com.

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  11. I can't even imagine waiting...we wait 9 months for our own children to arrive, and we are so anxious, but to not really have a set time when you know for sure that child will be here...has to be hard. I hope that the process begins to move forward for you quickly.

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  12. Hey, Carey! I have a friend who is waiting to adopt from Colombia and as each year rolls around they get told it will be next year--this has been happening for 2 years, so in the scheme of adoption, it's not that long, I suppose. You are not alone and your baby WILL come! I am so excited for you! I've been to China 3 times and i LOVE it! I also have friends who are living in China! You are going to be so blessed! By your baby and your trip to pick her up!

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  13. I have some friends that are going through this process right now. They are trying to adopt from China, as well. My heart aches for you and them. It has to be so hard. I am glad that took time to document your feelings. I just said a prayer for you.

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  14. Baby chicklet's godparents adopted a little boy from Guatemala, and it was by far the longest period of their lives!

    Hang in there!!

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  15. Carey, I wish I had some words of wisdom or comfort to give you. The wait is incredible. I was LID 4/5/07 for NSN referral until I sent in my LOI for Ryan last April. Have you considered a very minor special need such as a club foot?

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  16. I love the image and message in that last photo. I had no idea there was that long of a wait. Eight years? I hope that you find something to help you as you wait it out. I'm sorry it takes that long though.

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  17. We haven't even got the boat, but we hope someday.... I am still perplexed why all the waiting when we know kids are available.

    Glad to see we have another new SITSer. WELCOME! Come on over to my blog for a giveaway....

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  18. I know it's easier said than done, but as the saying goes... Good things come to those who wait.

    BTW, love the quote at the end. Very, very nice and heart warming.

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  19. I'm sorry for the dreary pace you at right now. I do believe that all goods things come to those who wait. Your daughter, is just that, your daughter and you can't rush that.

    I wish this process was made easier for people like you all who want to adopt for another country. But from what I've heard its not.

    Your hopes and dreams are always worth the end result.
    I'm praying for you girl and your heart :)

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  20. Oh how I just love you. I'll wait with you. I wish I was in your Sunny state so that I could just pop in with a bottle of red wine...and just ride the boat with you.
    I think it's amazing that you can share such emotion in your post.

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  21. This is so exciting. Our oldest is adopted domestically (he's 6 now) Then we cooked one of own. she was born the day after my 40th birthday. You are lving my dream of adopting from China, Carey. Good luck to you and your family! I am excited to see this story unfold.

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Yeah! I love comments! Feel free to leave me one (or two or three).
But remember what your mama said..."If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
Thanks!