By now, you all know that I am a perfect wife and mother. All who meet me IRL or through my blog are generally amazed and dazzled by my perfection. I am always confident, talented, forgiving, creative, thoughtful, patient, in control, kind, nonjudgmental...just to name a few of my traits. To prove my exemplary mothering, wifing and homemaking skills here is a list of things I did not and would not ever do...
I did NOT have to ask another women in the grocery store if she was a mom. When she said "yes," I did NOT have to ask her if she knew where the chicken nuggets were. I mean really! What kind of mama doesn't know where the chicken nuggets are?
I did NOT feed my boys our red velvet wedding anniversary cupcakes for breakfast one morning. I did NOT think, "Well, their crazy sugar rush won't be my problem since I'm not working at school today!"
I did NOT eat one of those cupcakes for breakfast myself.
I did NOT start a bad bedtime habit for Logan by taking him for a walk in the stroller to fall asleep. I certainly did NOT do this while wearing my pajamas...no matter what my neighbors say.
I did NOT gag when I noticed that there was mold growing in my toothbrush. I did NOT not have a spare so I did NOT use one of my kids' toothbrushes.
I did NOT think "Ha! Now you know what it feels like!" when Jack was trying, unsuccessfully, to get Logan's attention by saying his name over and over again.
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