It seems like every week the the MOTYs ask for more proof of my exemplary mothering in order to be considered for the annual Mama of the Year Awards. I provided them with the following list of things I'd never ever do in order to show them that I'm the best candidate for this completely fictional prestigious award:
I did NOT let my kids play in puddle of the dirtiest nastiest brown water because I was desparate to have the kids out of the house.
On our kitchen table, I do NOT have a delightfully unusual centerpiece of kids vitamins, toothbrushes and toothpaste in an effort to remind this mama to have her kids brush their pearly yellows whites ever more frequently. I do NOT need such a blatant reminder for my kids oral hygiene because I'm great a remembering things that are so important.
While taking my boys to school, I did NOT drive back and forward, back and forward, back and forward over the traffic sensor on the road in an effort to get a traffic light to change more quickly so I could get the boys to school sooner.
I did NOT tell my husband that since I cooked FOUR nights straight that I deserved a reward, like maybe going out for dinner or getting take out.
After asking Logan what he wanted to bring to show & share at school, I did NOT laugh out loud when he said "my poop!" I did NOT praise him for going poop on the potty while trying to convience him that poop was not an appropriate thing to show or share. I did NOT spit out some of my drink after he then replied that he wanted to bring his "penuts" (how he pronounces penis) for show & share. (Eventually we settled on a toy car but I did warn the teacher in case he started to pull his pants down during show & share.)
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****ROARING***** I seriously just woke the boys up from laughing myself into a stupor over Logan's Show & Share........... ohmygoodness... optical leakage... gasping for air....
ReplyDeleteThat was priceless!!
Hey, you could offer him a special celebratory dessert this week... Get some lemon (yellow) Jello, whip up a batch, and when it starts to gel a little (not completely runny), insert mini/treat sized peanut-ey chocolate bars into the jello. Wait for it to set completely, serve with toilet paper napkins, and voila... a boy's dream dessert come true.
Don't ask me where I got that idea... Not from potty-obsessed boys, oh no, not me, I don't have two of those, I haven't had two of those for 10 and 12 years, to be exact. I'm not the mother of boys who had pooping contests to see who could make a perfect candy-cane shaped poop over the holidays... no, not me.
Oh my...those were good ones I loved them all but can't seem to remember any except for the poop for show and tell..that one seemed to have blocked all the rest. That is hilarious. Oh Lord, I am busting up..his Peanut...StuntMan calls it is wenis. Too funny!
ReplyDeleteOh Carey that was just too funny! Thanks, I needed a good laugh.
ReplyDeleteLove and Prayers,
Tim
As a teacher of 4 yr olds I love it!! I have had a student who informed me that he had a tail and wanted to show me, only his tail was in front!
ReplyDeleteYou are the Not Me Monday! I bow to your awesomeness!
ReplyDeleteLet it be known far and wide that you have raised your son with a VERY positive body image. You deserve that Mother of The Year Award! No worries, I lost any hope of the title LONG ago!
Okay, that was the Not Me Monday Queen ~ I'm losing it...
ReplyDeleteThe show and tell was priceless! Seriously what is it about little boys and poop and their penises? thanks for the great laugh
ReplyDeleteThe "penuts" show & tell is PRICELESS! That's one you'll have to remember years later to tell a girlfriend or two!! Thanks for stopping by my blog! I'm adding you as a follower & hope you'll do the same! Great Not Me! Monday!!
ReplyDeletehttp://jayefamily.blogspot.com
OH, I cannot stop laughing at the poop and penuts story. That it so hilarious!!! And, as a mom of 3 boys, I know it is so true to life with boys. Awesome!
ReplyDeleteThe center piece might be a good idea for me, too!
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LOL about the peanuts!!!!! My 5 year old loves to say poop...what is it with little boys and bathroom stuff??
ReplyDelete