Sunday, February 1, 2009

"Not me!" Monday

It seems like every week the the MOTYs ask for more proof of my exemplary mothering in order to be considered for the annual Mama of the Year Awards. I provided them with the following list of things I'd never ever do in order to show them that I'm the best candidate for this completely fictional prestigious award:

I did NOT let my kids play in puddle of the dirtiest nastiest brown water because I was desparate to have the kids out of the house.

On our kitchen table, I do NOT have a delightfully unusual centerpiece of kids vitamins, toothbrushes and toothpaste in an effort to remind this mama to have her kids brush their pearly yellows whites ever more frequently. I do NOT need such a blatant reminder for my kids oral hygiene because I'm great a remembering things that are so important.

While taking my boys to school, I did NOT drive back and forward, back and forward, back and forward over the traffic sensor on the road in an effort to get a traffic light to change more quickly so I could get the boys to school sooner.

I did NOT tell my husband that since I cooked FOUR nights straight that I deserved a reward, like maybe going out for dinner or getting take out.

After asking Logan what he wanted to bring to show & share at school, I did NOT laugh out loud when he said "my poop!" I did NOT praise him for going poop on the potty while trying to convience him that poop was not an appropriate thing to show or share. I did NOT spit out some of my drink after he then replied that he wanted to bring his "penuts" (how he pronounces penis) for show & share. (Eventually we settled on a toy car but I did warn the teacher in case he started to pull his pants down during show & share.)

For more "Not Me!" Monday posts visit MckMama's site.


  1. ****ROARING***** I seriously just woke the boys up from laughing myself into a stupor over Logan's Show & Share........... ohmygoodness... optical leakage... gasping for air....

    That was priceless!!

    Hey, you could offer him a special celebratory dessert this week... Get some lemon (yellow) Jello, whip up a batch, and when it starts to gel a little (not completely runny), insert mini/treat sized peanut-ey chocolate bars into the jello. Wait for it to set completely, serve with toilet paper napkins, and voila... a boy's dream dessert come true.

    Don't ask me where I got that idea... Not from potty-obsessed boys, oh no, not me, I don't have two of those, I haven't had two of those for 10 and 12 years, to be exact. I'm not the mother of boys who had pooping contests to see who could make a perfect candy-cane shaped poop over the holidays... no, not me.

  2. Oh my...those were good ones I loved them all but can't seem to remember any except for the poop for show and tell..that one seemed to have blocked all the rest. That is hilarious. Oh Lord, I am busting up..his Peanut...StuntMan calls it is wenis. Too funny!

  3. Oh Carey that was just too funny! Thanks, I needed a good laugh.

    Love and Prayers,


  4. As a teacher of 4 yr olds I love it!! I have had a student who informed me that he had a tail and wanted to show me, only his tail was in front!

  5. You are the Not Me Monday! I bow to your awesomeness!

    Let it be known far and wide that you have raised your son with a VERY positive body image. You deserve that Mother of The Year Award! No worries, I lost any hope of the title LONG ago!

  6. Okay, that was the Not Me Monday Queen ~ I'm losing it...

  7. The show and tell was priceless! Seriously what is it about little boys and poop and their penises? thanks for the great laugh

  8. The "penuts" show & tell is PRICELESS! That's one you'll have to remember years later to tell a girlfriend or two!! Thanks for stopping by my blog! I'm adding you as a follower & hope you'll do the same! Great Not Me! Monday!!

  9. OH, I cannot stop laughing at the poop and penuts story. That it so hilarious!!! And, as a mom of 3 boys, I know it is so true to life with boys. Awesome!
    The center piece might be a good idea for me, too!

    Visit my Not Me! Monday post

  10. LOL about the peanuts!!!!! My 5 year old loves to say poop...what is it with little boys and bathroom stuff??


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