It seems like every week the the MOTYs ask for more proof of my exemplary mothering in order to be considered for the annual Mama of the Year Awards. I provided them with the following list of things I'd never ever do in order to show them that I'm the best candidate for this
completely fictional prestigious award:
I did NOT let my kids play in puddle of the dirtiest nastiest brown water because I was desparate to have the kids out of the house.
On our kitchen table, I do NOT have a delightfully unusual centerpiece of kids vitamins, toothbrushes and toothpaste in an effort to remind this mama to have her kids brush their pearly
yellows whites ever more frequently. I do NOT need such a blatant reminder for my kids oral hygiene because I'm great a remembering things that are so important.
While taking my boys to school, I did NOT drive back and forward, back and forward, back and forward over the traffic sensor on the road in an effort to get a traffic light to change more quickly so I could get the boys to school sooner.
I did NOT tell my husband that since I cooked FOUR nights straight that I deserved a reward, like maybe going out for dinner or getting take out.
After asking Logan what he wanted to bring to show & share at school, I did NOT laugh out loud when he said "my poop!" I did NOT praise him for going poop on the potty while trying to convience him that poop was not an appropriate thing to show or share. I did NOT spit out some of my drink after he then replied that he wanted to bring his "penuts" (how he pronounces penis) for show & share. (Eventually we settled on a toy car but I did warn the teacher in case he started to pull his pants down during show & share.)
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