So, the MOTYs have asked for further proof of my exemplary mothering to be considered for the annual Mama of the Year Awards. (Apparently someone is running a smear campaign against me!) I provided them with the following list of things I'd never ever do in order to show them that I'm the best candidate for this
I did NOT make my youngest stand in the restroom at In 'n Out while I paced back and forth wringing my hands freaking out and trying to figure out what to do because I had his poop all down the front of my shirt and he had his poop completely covering his lower half.
I did NOT actually consider asking an employee for a large garbage bag so I could wrap Logan up and take him home nekked from the waist down and covered in poop.
Instead, I did NOT give him a sponge bath in the sink at the restaurant because that would have been totally inappropriate and disgusting. I would NOT have done this even if there was a ridiculous amount of poop to come out of my small son and I could not figure out any other way to get us home.
I do NOT frequently walk around in my bra and pants in the morning while getting everyone else ready. I do NOT duck and run to my bedroom when I realize that my neighbor's window (the one that looks directly into my kitchen) is open.
I did NOT laugh hysterically when Jack asked if we were having an earthquake when in reality it was just my husband's crazy dancing that was shaking the whole house.
When my boys were insisting that they wouldn't take a bath (because it was hair-washing day), I did NOT give them the option of getting hosed off outside. When Logan tried to call my bluff, I did NOT actually start hosing him off on the back porch before he decided he wanted warmer bath water.
I did NOT...oh, wait I can't tell you that one. It was something I actually did do! ;)
For more "Not Me!" Monday posts visit MckMama's site.
Oh my gosh about the In N' Out burger fiasco!!!!!! What did you do about your shirt?? LOLReplyDelete
Your list is so much better than mine... Poop and all.ReplyDelete
The disaster that was my poop covered shirt deserves it's own post. It's coming up later this week!
I have SO NOT been there with the poop thing!! And the earthquake? I love it!! Too funny!ReplyDelete
The poo story! Awesome. As for the bra/underwear story? I SO had to move out to the country for that reason!ReplyDelete
Oh my! Can't wait for the poo story to be continued!!!!ReplyDelete
Great Not me's!!!!!!
Oh, Carey!!!!! I totally wanted to feel pity for you in the In-n-Out bathroom, but all I could think was....SHE GOT TO EAT AT IN-N-OUT!!!! I'm so jealous!!!!!! :) You are hilarious as always, Miss Carey....Loved it!ReplyDelete
Lots of Great things you did NOT do this week.. LOLReplyDelete
The poop fiasco ~ hilarious PLUS the fact that you started to hose him off.....hold on still laughing at that one!ReplyDelete
Oh my word those were good. My fav was the dancing one. An earthquake. LOl Too funny!ReplyDelete
I have a poop Not me post too. How funny, thanks for sharing.ReplyDelete
Just wanted to say I did NOT enjoy your Not Me's. =0) Well, honestly I did, but that's forbidden today! Have a great Monday!ReplyDelete
Oh poop incident. Not fun. Had many of those. I think that might be where half of my kids wardrobe came from...buying on the fly! :) Have a great week!ReplyDelete
Oh, you made me cringe and smile wiht this post! My husband constantly suggests/threatens to hose the boys off outside. The poop thing- oh my- I am not sighing in relief that that hasn't happened to me (yet, anyway!).ReplyDelete
Check out my Not Me! Monday Post
I feel so guilty for completely cracking up at your misfortune! But oh my gosh, was that ever funny!ReplyDelete
ROFL...the poop story cracks me up...literally!LOVED your NMM!ReplyDelete
Okay, I truly laughed at this post (during lunch, at work....shh). I'm sorry. Nah, not really! I think I need to start playing this game too. :-)ReplyDelete
I absolutely LOVED this "Not Me Monday" post. The poop story is hilarious. Once, when I was a sweet sixteen year old, I took my 1 year old nephew to the mall (I thought I looked cool with a baby - how pathetic is that!) I kept smelling something and finally looked down into his stroller. The child had poop all over his pants, his socks, his shirt, his hands, and oh yes, even his hair. It was disgusting and I had no idea what to do. I stripped him naked in the Macy's bathroom, threw away his clothes, cleaned him up (as best I could) and bought him new duds for the ride home. Needless to say, that is the last time I ever volunteered to babysit. It's a miracle I recovered enough to have kids of my own.ReplyDelete
Thanks for making me laugh this week. I sure did need it.