A Tip for Tuesday

I've been known to post sarcastic tips about various things: what to do when in public and the front of your shirt is covered in poop, how to use lollipop goop as a hair-styling product and how to "even out" a stain on your kiddos' clothes.

But today I'm posting a REAL tip, sans sarcasm.

For Jack's upcoming birthday we are going to Disneyland in lieu of a party. I'm not a Disney fan (gasp! can someone admit that without being stoned to death?). In my humble opinion, it is not the happiest place on earth. But we've never taken the kids so I will be seeing things with fresh eyes for my eldest's birthday. But thinking about the dreaded upcoming trip has reminded me about the safety precautions our family takes when we head out to crowded places.

• When we get to our destination I take close-up and full length photos of the boys with my digital camera. The boys just think I'm being a mamarazzi when in reality I'm recording exactly what they look like (clothes and all) in case we are separated. I can show the photos to park security (or god forbid, the police) if need be.
  

• Since our boys are so young and I don't want to freak them out with 'stranger danger' info just yet, we keep it simple. We make sure they know that if we get separated they should find a mama to talk to. I know personally that if a child came up to me saying that they were lost, I'd stay with them until their parents were found even after park security was brought in to help. I can only hope that another mama would do the same for my kids.

• Lastly, I have the boys wear dog collars. (No, not around their necks. But as bracelets.) They are thin nylon straps custom made extra small (think a Chihuahua's neck). Each is embroidered with just my cell phone number. The boys know that after they tell another mama that they are lost, they should show them the numbers on their bracelets.

I certainly hope all these safety precautions are for naught. But better safe than sorry, right? Anyone have any further ideas for really young kids?

"Not me!" Monday

Another week has come and gone and I can hardly believe that I'm still in the running for the MOTYs (Mama of the Year Awards). Actually, I guess I can believe it because I'm a perfect wife and mother (and daughter and friend). The MOTYs must have heard of my exemplary mothering this week to keep me in the running for this completely fictional prestigious award. Here are just a few examples:

Sometimes I do NOT still forget to have my boys brush their teeth even after I did NOT make an eclectic centerpiece of their vitamins, toothbrushes and toothpaste on the table we eat our meals at.

I do NOT let Logan watch way too much TV in the mornings because he gets up at 5AM and I'm desperate to try and get a few more seconds of shut-eye.

I did NOT beg and plead with my sons' preschool director to not close early (at 11:45AM!) on rainy days. I can surely find something to do indoors to entertain my boys for several hours a day.

The boys and I did NOT drive my husband to work in the morning, drive back to his work to take him to lunch and drive to pick him after work all in one day in an effort to "entertain" my kids on a rainy day.

I did NOT pass out at 9PM from sheer exhaustion (falling asleep in clothes) when I had dirty dishes overflowing the sink and several loads of laundry in desperate need of washing. (Hmmm...I guess I should also say that I did have NOT dirty dishes overflowing the sink and several loads of laundry in desperate need of washing.)

For more "Not Me!" Monday posts visit MckMama's site.

Who's who?

Which little monkey:

• interrupts your talking to say "I've got a plan," and then proceeds to say nearly word for word everything you just outlined
• can make a lollipop last for several hours
• actually believes that his mama uses a really long rope to catch stars from the sky above our backyard in order to make chicken, veggie and star-shaped pasta soup for dinner
  

Which little love bug:

• ends nearly every sentence with either, "Okay guys?" or "How 'bout dat?"
• says "I neeeeeed youuuuu" when you pick him up (and not as in I-need-you-to-do-this-or-that-for-me but as in I-can't-live-without-you!)
• begged and pleaded with his mama to let him draw with a black marker on his own forehead (luckily after much shrewd negotiation we settled on a pink marker on his arms...whew!)
  

100 Things About Me - Installment #2

I enjoy reading bloggers' 100-things-about-me posts. However, by the 32nd thing I usually have forgotten who's blog I'm reading. (Who am I kidding? By #11 I've forgotten!)
I thought it might be fun to try and write one but in the interest of anybody-who-might-actually-read-its sanity I was thoughtful enough to break up the list. In 10 easy installments you can learn everything you ever wanted to know, didn't want to know and could careless about regarding me.

I think it's customary to do this list as your 100th post. My 10th and last installment will be my 100th post (if I can remember).

Here is the second installment (#11-#20):
11. I cry when I hear patriotic music.

12. I wish Gilmore Girls never went off air.

13. I wear t-shirts...

14. And capri pants everyday.

15. I've never giggled as hard as when I zorbed in New Zealand.

16. I think Matchbox cars are one of the best inventions of the 20th century.

17. I've been skydiving.

18. I am a vegetarian...

19. And have been since I was 8 years old.

20. Chili's makes the best veggie burgers, in my opinion.

If you are interesting in reading more:
Installment #1

You tolerate me! You really tolerate me!

Two awards in one week! How could one gal get so lucky? You all must really tolerate me!

Kristin, a busy working mom to 2 teens and 2 little girls from China, at A Family is Forever presented me with The Friendship Award.

"These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find friends and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships will be propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly- written text into the body of their award."

I feel really honored to receive this award. I hate to admit that I don't have many friends in real life but I'm really enjoying getting to know other bloggers and forming friendships through cyberspace.

The friends that I would like to pass on this award to are:
JD at Infinite Adventures @ the Zoo
Shosh at Day by Glorious Day
Tim at Fort Thompson
Jane Anne at Gravity of Motion
Alicia at More Than Words
Kristin at P A J A M A M A M A
Donnetta at Life in the Fast Lane


Donnetta at Life in the Fast Lane, my newest blogging friend, is a mom to 3 kids and presented me with the Life is Grand Award.

According to the rules, I'm to list 5 reasons that I think life is grand and pass this award on to 5 friends.

I think life is grand because:
1. All my immediate and extended family members are blessed with good health.
2. My boys are happy and well-adjusted and loved and lovable.
3. I am married to a wonderful husband and papa.
4. I've 'met' so many new friends through blogging...I enjoy reading about others' experiences and relating to other mamas.
5. People actual read my blog and give me comment love.

The bloggers that I pass this award to are:
Kristin at A Family is Forever
Denise at There is Always Room for One More
Kami at My A Team
Lisa at Oh Boy...Oh Boy...Oh Boy

I really wish I had time to write up a description of all the blogs I mentioned for the two awards but I am beat! I can honestly say that I read and enjoy them all on a daily basis.

Whew! All this adoration (to me and from me) is exhausting. Now I'm off to go parade around my house in a plastic tiara blowing kisses and waving like a beauty pageant contestant to my confused sons.

Thanks again for the awards, Kristin and Donnetta.

Not So Happy Meals

Jack asks for McDonald's frequently. Which is odd because he doesn't like their burgers, barely touches the fries and is usually disappointed with the toy in the Happy Meals. I guess it's about the hope of something good...maybe, just maybe, he'll find the world's largest lollipop and a kid-sized motorcycle in his next Happy Meal.

In our house, we talk about green light, yellow light and red light food. (When you have 2 boys, it seems that everything comes down to a car/driving analogy.)

Fast food is red light food which is supposed to mean that you never eat it but really, who lives this way? For us, this means that we rarely eat it. But why is it that kids get a prize for eating red light food? It just doesn't seem right...

So my husband and I recently invented the Makes-Mama-Happy Meal.

There is a restuarant with healthy-ish (is that a word?) food that we like to go to. And the boys always eat well there. But for some reason, if we mention this restaurant Jack instantly starts whining.

So I now keep a stash of $1 toys in the back of my car. Whenever, Scott and I want to go to this restaurant we tell the boys they can get the Makes-Mama-Happy Meal. They eat their veggies, get a prize for it and make me happy in the process!

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So step on up to the counter and order your Makes-Mama-Happy Meal.
We have the Banzai Veggie Bowl:
Or the red pepper and flank steak salad:

We also have the chopped veggie salad (not pictured). More menu items to come!

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And for the record, no, I don't believe in bribing kids to eat well. But I really don't believe in bribing them to eat unhealthy (AKA the Happy Meal).

So what is in your Makes-Mama-Happy Meal?

Note: The green/yellow/red light food idea comes from Eat Healthy, Feel Great.

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This wasn't a Makes-Mama-Happy Meal but I was pretty happy when after eating a 3rd helping of my veggie pasta I asked Logan if he just wanted to eat the rest out of the pot and he said "yes!"

"Not me!" Monday

It seems like every week the the MOTYs ask for more proof of my exemplary mothering in order to be considered for the annual Mama of the Year Awards. I provided them with the following list of things I'd never ever do in order to show them that I'm the best candidate for this completely fictional prestigious award:

I did NOT let my kids play in puddle of the dirtiest nastiest brown water because I was desparate to have the kids out of the house.

On our kitchen table, I do NOT have a delightfully unusual centerpiece of kids vitamins, toothbrushes and toothpaste in an effort to remind this mama to have her kids brush their pearly yellows whites ever more frequently. I do NOT need such a blatant reminder for my kids oral hygiene because I'm great a remembering things that are so important.

While taking my boys to school, I did NOT drive back and forward, back and forward, back and forward over the traffic sensor on the road in an effort to get a traffic light to change more quickly so I could get the boys to school sooner.

I did NOT tell my husband that since I cooked FOUR nights straight that I deserved a reward, like maybe going out for dinner or getting take out.

After asking Logan what he wanted to bring to show & share at school, I did NOT laugh out loud when he said "my poop!" I did NOT praise him for going poop on the potty while trying to convience him that poop was not an appropriate thing to show or share. I did NOT spit out some of my drink after he then replied that he wanted to bring his "penuts" (how he pronounces penis) for show & share. (Eventually we settled on a toy car but I did warn the teacher in case he started to pull his pants down during show & share.)

For more "Not Me!" Monday posts visit MckMama's site.