Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Why International Adoption?

I've been asked several times (in person and through my blog) why we chose international adoption over the American foster care system. I thought I'd try and explain it here...

I guess I see it as kids are kids. I’m a human and a mom before I’m an American. So, a kid in China or Ethiopia is no more or less in need or deserving of a family than a kid in America. In that sense, they are equal.

What then sways me to international adoption is that in this country (and in my state) birth parents’ rights are often paramount. They seem to always be given a second and third (and maybe even more) chance. (Do some birth parents deserve extra chances? Absolutely. And will some of those extra chances result in a reunited, happy, healthy family? I hope so.) But each time a birth family is given another chance (whether deserved or not, successful or not) I imagine a foster family is left with a broken heart.

I don’t want to be a foster mom. I want to be someone’s “forever” mom. Just like, I don’t want Jack and Logan to be someone’s foster brothers but “forever” siblings. I can’t imagine trying to explain to them why their sister or brother would not be living with us anymore.

I guess I’m selfish in that I want to protect my heart (and my husband’s and Jack’s and Logan’s). And since I believe that all kids are equal and there are kids in need of families in other parts of the world, I choose international adoption.
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8 comments:

  1. JDJune 30, 2010 at 9:21 PM

    I think that's awesome, Carey -- everyone is called to adoption in different ways, some of us locally, privately, internationally, foster care system, etc... what matters is whatever feels right to you.

    Those girls are going to be SO blessed to have one of the best families out there!!! I can't wait to see and read more!

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  2. MollyJune 30, 2010 at 9:38 PM

    Amen.

    Do you get asked this question a lot? (We do.) Do you, at times, grow weary of having to answer it? (We do.) I so agree with you-- kids are kids.

    Good luck! You're almost there! :)

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  3. CarinJune 30, 2010 at 9:42 PM

    Very well said. I think you are going to be such incredible parents to these little girls!

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  4. foxyJuly 1, 2010 at 8:25 AM

    Kids are kids are kids. You are right about that! I'm so excited for you guys.

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  5. RonnicaJuly 1, 2010 at 9:08 AM

    I want to adopt when I'm married, but I don't have a preference for domestic or international. Like you said, kids are kids. There are ups and downs for both processes!

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  6. MimiJuly 3, 2010 at 4:07 PM

    Great post. I couldn't agree more!

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  7. christian louboutinJuly 7, 2010 at 3:56 AM

    I am aware of the rules and the regulations that has to be maintained when one is in this profession of care takers or baby keepers. They first need to be certified first before they actually start working on their profession.

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  8. rendezvousJuly 13, 2010 at 5:39 PM

    Well said.

    Congratulation on your 2 new additions!!!

    I love following your blog.

    a PAP
    to Africa

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Yeah! I love comments! Feel free to leave me one (or two or three).
But remember what your mama said..."If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
Thanks!

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