"Not me!" Monday

By now, you all know that I am a perfect wife and mother. All who meet me IRL or through my blog are generally amazed and dazzled by my perfection. I am always confident, talented, forgiving, creative, thoughtful, patient, in control, kind, nonjudgmental...just to name a few of my traits. To prove my exemplary mothering, wifing and homemaking skills here is a list of things I did not and would not ever do...

I did NOT feed the boys Crispix with strawberries, bananas and milk for dinner tonight.

I did NOT leave our beach bag sitting in our family room a full two weeks after I took the boys to the beach. I did NOT finally clean it up only because our housekeeper was coming.

I do NOT make my boys have their time-outs in our bathrooms.

It has NOT been 1 million years since I last worked out.

I did NOT only do a whopping two miles on the treadmill...with no incline.

I do NOT only own one bra. I did NOT have to wear it to my late night workout then rush home to wash it so that I could wear it the next day. (And no, I'm not talking about a sports bra...I don't even own one of those!)

I did NOT make sure that Scott had sunscreen on his back while spending all morning at the pool. He did NOT get horribly sunburned.

I did NOT eat my dinner standing in my bathroom watching the boys take a bath.

I did NOT preheat the toaster oven, put in frozen chicken nuggets, turn them over at the halfway point and take them out when they were "done" only to realize that the toaster oven was not plugged in.

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