A rough one...

Today was a difficult day.  There were many long tantrums (surprisingly none from me).  There were many tears (some from me).  I'm not sure where all the angst came from but some of the kids were extremely upset today.  When it comes to Des and Bri, I am always left wondering if it's twin behavior, typically 4 year old stuff or something much deeper related to the trauma of adoption.  My gut tells me that there is no way to separate the reasons...they all contribute.  And does it really matter what the reason is?  They are struggling and acting out.  And I do my best to survive the storms...

Still catching up...

In my opinion, using Facebook to catch up on blogging is cheating.  Of course, that didn't stop me from doing it yesterday.  I also believe that using Instagram phone photos is cheating for blogging.  But it's not going stop me from doing that today.

I used to carry my camera everywhere.  It was an extension of my right hand.  But with more kids, comes schlepping more stuff.  And the camera was left home.  For a special occasion, I might remember to grab it.

Luckily, my phone is always on me.  It's replaced my camera as my appendage of choice.  And since it has a camera built in, I try and capture some of the daily goings on for my family.  Here are some photos from the past several months (from newest to oldest) to help "catch up" on my blogging.

 

1. Logan at his Spring concert  2.  Jack setting up flags at veteran's graves for Memorial Day  3. Des and Bri "helping" Papa work  4. riding scooters and bikes in our newly paved alley  5. solar eclipse  6. camping in the backyard  7. trying out the air mattress  8. the boys reading together  9. ice cube tray lunch for the girls

1. the girls after an evening walk  2. surviving Spring Break  3.  Des getting her hair done  4. reading in bed together  5. the boys' silliness at dinner  6. Bri's silliness at the park  7. goofing off in Des' bed  8. "walking" home from school (but the boys are being pulled in a wagon  9. another park during Spring Break  10. Easter egg hunt with friends  11. Jack's class art project  12.  Logan's class art project  13.  beach clean-up for Earth Day

1. my decorated cast from carpal tunnel surgery  2. the pretty in pink girls  3. an outing to the beach with just Jack and Bri  4. Logan asleep at 5pm  5. Yordanos and the girls after Ethiopian dance class  6. opening Valentines on the jungle gym  7. my 4 beach babies  8. Jack and Bri sleeping  9. Logan at the kinder Thanksgiving feast

Catching up...

The purpose of this blog has been to document our family life...for myself (because I have a ridiculously bad memory) and for my kids in their future.  I haven't kept up this blog for months now but I want to make sure to capture some of what's been going on.  This is a rather superficial record as it comes from my Facebook posts but it's better than nothing...I think...  This post will likely be followed by a post that is a jumble of photos.

May 25, 2012
Ahhhh...feels like a long weekend...just took the bus to dinner on a patio with the family...

May 25, 2012
Jack and Logan just got an eyeful of naked neighbors sunbathing in their backyard! When the boys climb to the top of the jungle-gym they can easily see over the fence. Opps...

May 19, 2012
Just sprayed bug spray on the waffle maker instead of oil...it's going to be one of THOSE days I think. On the bright side the bug spray is all natural, nontoxic and organic...yum ...

May 6, 2012
How screwed up is it that LA Dept of Parks & Rec makes kids' camp sign-up at midnight?!?!?! I guess they figure that since you've got little kids you must already be sleep deprived, right?

May 5, 2012
Dinner tonight...served in ice cube trays...nuts, grapes, hummus, carrotts, cucumbers, corn, string cheese, hard boiled egg...

May 5, 2012
Not even 9 AM and Scott has set up the karaoke machine in the family room...its going to be a long day...

April 29, 2012
You know you are a mom when the main use for your nail polish remover is to remove your kids' temp tattoos because there is no way you have time for a manicure...

April 29, 2012
It was iffy there for awhile but we all made it back from our hike...a gorgeous (but slightly stressful) day in Malibu...

April 28, 2012
Logan begged Scott to shoot him with a water gun and Scott was too happy to oblige...

April 27, 2012
Bri is having a tea party for her dolls and monsters but Des keeps stealing the animal crackers that Bri is serving them! It's so hard to get good service in this town...

April 22, 2012
Happy Earth Day! We are headed out bright and early to clean a beach... Hope we don't turn into popsicles...

April 7, 2012
Haircut time and Logan just asked if I'd cut his hair super short so everyone could see the scar on his forehead (from two years ago when he ran full speed into a park bench)...

April 6, 2012
Des and Bri spend at least two hours a day, 6 days a week outside at a park. So I love it when they still shout "Yay! Park!" as I pulled up to one today...

April 3, 2012
4 cute and silly kids + 1 park + infinate sunshine = surviving the 2nd day of of spring break

March 19, 2012
It's hard to get everyone ready for school when they are being so cute...Jack is reading all of them a book in our bed!

February 23, 2012
The mother's helper we hired for 3 days this week has asked not to spend time with Des and Bri today because they wore her out yesterday. (Imagine doing it everyday, lady!) She'd rather do housework or homework with the boys...
January 2, 2012
Ahhh...that sun feels good! A gorgeous day at the beach with my sand babies...

January 2, 2012
45 books read in 2011! Escape reality...who me?

December 29, 2011:
Headed out on our first ever vacation as a family of 6...it's only an overnighter but we are shaking in our flip-flops because we are so heavily out-numbered by the kiddos! Think good thoughts please!

The End of a Very Long Chapter

We started the adoption roller-coaster ride the summer of 2007, almost five years ago. After months of research, we picked a country and agency. Then we spent 9 long months putting together our dossier. When our paperwork finally made it to China we feared that we might be waiting 8 years before we met our daughter. We certainly hoped it would be sooner, much sooner, but we wanted to be realistic.  We spent our wait time reading books and watching TV specials about China.  We bought books for the boys about China and enrolled them in a Mandarin language class.  We took trips to Chinatown and soaked in the sights, sounds and smells.

After a year and a half of officially waiting, we knew that that we shouldn't wait much longer.  Waiting took a toll on Scott and I...reading adoption rumors, keeping track of others' referrals, reading official Chinese adoption news, trying to determine when it would be our time for a referral.  The longer we waited, our possible referral date managed to get further away.  How was it that our wait was actually getting longer as time passed?  We knew that it would be years and years...in fact, though the officials in China won't say how long a wait it would be, there are mathematical calculations that say we wouldn't see our daughter's face until 2018.

So, Scott and I did some soul-searching and some more adoption and cultural research.  We realized that though we had invested a lot of time and a lot of emotion and some money into adopting from China, that was not where our daughter was from.  We turned our attention and hearts to Ethiopia and added two beautiful daughters to our family.

And now it's officially time to close our dossier in China.  Waiting for a child that is years from even being conceived felt more and more ridiculous as time has gone on.  It is bittersweet though.  For years I imagined what our family would look like...Scott and I, Jack and Logan and a daughter of Chinese heritage.

Do I regret getting in line for China?  Absolutely not.  It was the first of many steps that led us to Ethiopia and our two amazing daughters.