Thank you for all the comments and emails. It means so much to have people sympathize with my situation and some who even have shared experiences. I have started taking some medication and call it fast-acting or maybe even the placebo effect, but the very next day after taking the meds was a much better day. Oh, what a difference a little pink pill can make!
In doing some more research, I've been surprised to learn a few more things about PADS:
- As many as 65% of adoptive parents experience PADS.
- It can affect mothers or fathers.
- It is more common in parents that have adopted internationally.
- And it is more common for parents that have brought home a child older than an infant whom is not the first child.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, what I had been going through didn't look like what I thought depression looked like. So what did my depression look like (pre-meds)? Lots and lots of anger. Rage. Seething. (How can I be this mad at 4 of the most beautiful kids in the world?) Severe irritability. Heightened sensitivity to sound. Frustration. Sadness. Guilt. Reduced capacity for compassion. Lack of patience. Frequent headaches. Horrible back pain. Low energy level. Trouble making decisions. Extremely unrealistic expectations.
That was me for more than five weeks. Thank goodness that the medicine is diminishing all of the above symptoms.
I will say, that through it all, the one thing I have not felt is regret. I love all of my children. I love my husband. I love the decisions we've made. And even when life was dark, I knew that one day there would be light.
Click HERE to read part 1.
Carey, glad to know you are feeling better. Thanks again for sharing so honestly.
ReplyDeleteCarey - you are a very amazing women!!
ReplyDeleteYour passage about, anger, sensitivity to sounc, aching body, etc., could have been taken out of my own head.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're starting to feel some relief.
Hugs & love,
Mimi
Glad to read Carey, and just keep focusing on the light, because you are right when you say that it is there...even during the dark experience.
ReplyDeleteCarey, my heart goes out to you, and you are in my prayers!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing about this. It is important to bring awareness. As one who has been waiting three years to start our family, I almost expect to experience some of this. So much waiting, work, and expectations can surely lead to somewhat of a letdown once our dreams finally come true. I will definitely be researching and praying against it ahead of time.
Blessings!
IAN Adoptive Momma
#22 infant girl
#9 infant boy
#5 siblings
I worship the little blue pill that has been part of my breakfast for many years. Brain chemistry is not our fault. Hugs!!
ReplyDeleteSo glad to hear you are doing better. (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteWow, Carey. I really applaud your bravery for talking about all this. Though I've never suffered PADS, I've experienced my fair share of depression. I'm happy to hear things are on the upswing for you :)
ReplyDelete